dizzy dreamer 〆
I have to let this out.
Thursday, February 13, 2014, 11:16 PM
Dear wmI don't know how did our...friendship just die out like this. But yeah even though there was abit of an up and down situation going on between us during our poly years, it still meant something to me man. I mean I was closer to the guys at the start, but when you came and join us...well initially I was afraid, I have always been afraid of making friends with girls since secondary school... But yeah things kinda worked out and I thought it was so easy to just, connect with you? Although you are competitive and it scared me a little.......
I still haven't quite figured out this thingy that happened on the facebook chat the last time, or the Italy thing and the post-Italy stuffs. Or even this thing now, when we've both gone to uni together. I guess I am happy that at least you've found a friend that is way more similar to you and your group of girls can definitely clique well together. I have no idea what's with the tension between us though...
I guess what is worse, is the very fact that this is happening right after I told you that I would be staying back a year :/
This probably sounds so stupid but I just saw all our old photos in your insta and yeah this whole thing just hit me I guess...I knew things have already started changing between us when I saw the photo with the caption, "Hello you, great to have you back." Well of course it made me smile too...Fuck man, seriously wm what is with this I'm not getting the hint. Are you like sick of me or maybe the fact that I am seemingly so negative all the time.
I have to admit that I don't really smile or go all hyper all so often and I don't know, maybe not a very fun friend...? I don't even know why I am thinking so far already but yeah fuck man. This sucks. This really sucks.
Well I get it, I have to stay back and I won't be having you guys around all the time. I can definitely try and work with that and just look forward to the classes and meals/breaks we have together but...Why?? Why of all times, now...That post-Italy trip part was bad enough already...
Can't figure out what is wrong, is there something that I am doing...ugh...
I mean I can seriously get over the fact that I am staying back and be of a different batch from you guys but it's not that easy to just let this friendship go... It may not be as smooth as the ones I have from my secondary school but it fucking means something still la fuck...
Kinda hate to admit this now while we are like this. but I do miss you and your retardedness and of course the times when you're the mature one helping me out while I just go all negative and do stupid stuffs.
I don't know what to do already.
Labels: balls
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hello i am qy 〆 ヒスイ sleep paralysis, wretches & sketches しめ
i study the making of places where people spend their lives
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