dizzy dreamer 〆
Mad rush in my head.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013, 12:23 AM
I was going through some major emotional moment this evening... ... ...While plugging into my iPod which is playing from my old playlists. (I stupidly plugged into my old MacBook hoping to save my most recent songs, but nope. It deleted my new songs and synced in what was left in my external hard drive's iTunes.)Literally about everything from what my heart says and what my mind is thinking, to what I have been doing in my life. (Yes I know this sounds stupid.) It was like some massively big hit that I suddenly got goosebumps all over and actually felt super awake? (This does not even make sense.)
I walked home super quickly trying to rid off all the excessive "adrenaline rush" I was feeling. The next thing I knew, I was already in my home clothes and shoes, warming up for a run. I think my mind was in such a mess that I ended up stopping right after my mind blanked out. Got so dizzy and felt super nauseated. (Okay fine, maybe this is also because I have not been running - it has been months, many many many months.)
Worst part of the night, I guess was receiving my first academic warning letter. Not just from NUS, but the first in my 20 years of schooling. I have been informed about this beforehand by my tutor but...It still hit me man. Just finished writing an email to make an appointment with the head of the department as required of me in the letter. Depressed...
To E, I honestly feel you're not human. And are you seriously 2 years my junior? Then again I still feel it is me. I need to grow up and mature... (Pardon me for my negativity again, even after all the long and encouraging messages you sent me.) And yes, thank you very much, I really, really appreciate it. You are the one person that believed in me right from the very start - before I even went for my interview at NUS, up till now - when I am on the verge of getting expelled if I still fail to perform.
*positive thinking* *positive thinking* *positive thinking* *positive thinking* *positive thinking*
Labels: cmonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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hello i am qy 〆 ヒスイ sleep paralysis, wretches & sketches しめ
i study the making of places where people spend their lives
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