dizzy dreamer 〆
so many disappointed faces
Sunday, September 15, 2013, 12:13 AM
Is there really no way for me to get this done?...I feel like one of those kids in secondary school that does not get their work on time / finish their work. Those that always get aimed by the teachers in class.The difference is that, I am doing this while I am in uni. It does not make any sense at all. I am not coping, not performing etc. I am not even able to face my tutor now, given how disappointed and slightly furious he sounds in his emails to me. He even informed me that the emails have been forward to the head and coordinator of the department. I can totally imagine them seeing me as someone irresponsible and being an adult that I "am" right now in uni, my actions are completely unacceptable.
Am I really incapable of studying in uni?...I am honestly thinking of giving up but I know I will not do it...But then again I am so afraid of how I am performing in school right now. My attitude is just disgusting and pathetic man...
Have to say though, I am so grateful for the people around me right now. Especially my parents...Every time I think of what they have done for me, I will feel extra motivated to do my work and that I know I have to perform in school. I feel so frustrated when I end up not being able to get any work done even with the numerous tries and I really just hate knowing that they will be so disappointed...I feel so undeserving of all these that I have been given......
Not to mention all the distractions around at the moment...Booooooo sorry mommy for not listening to your advice :( I am with someone I am happy with though...But I think I have never been with someone quite like this before. Him and this uni thing in my life is so new that I am totally not adapting.
Can't. fucking. strike. a. balance. in. everything.
Labels: why am I constantly feeling down...like seriously...all. the. time.
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hello i am qy 〆 ヒスイ sleep paralysis, wretches & sketches しめ
i study the making of places where people spend their lives
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