I was asking, "Why haven't you considered being in a relationship?"

the reply was, "I'd rather not be able to feel what it's like to be happy in one, than to risk ending up feeling all this heartbreak and hurt...like I've seen how you all have been..."

hmm..I can see why you're always so 'happy-go-lucky'.

happy for you, and..

I really miss ya, hope we can meet up soon.

stop being so busy occupied with things!

when I thought I can rely on someone just for a bit...

I realise I'm the only person I can rely on.

I've learnt it the hard way to be independent,

and you just had to break all that and make me all weak like I was before.

and I can never get angry with you for all these still.

this is honestly not something I want to feel.

it makes me completely uneasy.

I've been trying to figure out what is it that I keep feeling is missing.

I still cant. I only feel these bits of emotions here and there.

this word 'Friends'...

it's becoming more and more like a word that I'm too afraid to hear,

in both possible ways.

there's so much I'm asking from myself,

that all I'm becoming is a disappointment.

"Something IS missing. But what is it?"

if you could make a decision on this, things will be alot easier.

it's really not that complicated anymore.

i gave you my answer. i know im happy.

i still am.

but i really dont wish to know that you still havent decided after all these times.

really, i want this to be as simple as it can be.

thought things were going well,

then all of a sudden. everything got cut off?

what do you want? seriously.

its literally you building me up just to break me down.

then again i dont think this is what you're trying to do either.

in fact, i got no idea at all what you're thinking of doing now.

i've noticed something always similar bout people of the Sagittarius sign.

but anyway i just pray for everything to go well.

"For what's worth."

And what if I never kiss your lips again
Or feel the touch of your sweet embrace
How would I ever go on
Without you there's no place to belong

Well someday love is gonna lead you back to me
But 'til it does I'll have an empty heart
So I'll just have to believe
Somewhere out there you thinking of me

Until the day I'll let you go
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye
'Til I see you again
I'll be right here rememberin' when
And if time is on our side
There will be no tears to cry
On down the road
There is one thing I can't deny
It's not goodbye


You'd think I'd be strong enough to make it through
And rise above when the rain falls down
But it's so hard to be strong
When you've been missin' somebody so long

It's just a matter of time I'm sure
But time takes time and I can't hold on
So won't you try as hard as you can
To put my broken heart together again

Until the day I'll let you go
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye
'Til I see you again
I'll be right here rememberin' when
And if time is on our side
There will be no tears to cry
On down the road
There is one thing I can't deny
It's not goodbye

just put it simply. everything isn't going well.

still cant get over things that i thought/ should have already been forgotten long ago.

exact same thoughts as you.

just...

so long this is what you really want.

Thanks man (: Great 'bak kut teh' and 'xian cai' dinner at the coffeeshop anyway hahaha. And mm..really needed to talk all these out to someone today. I'll learn to be more independent, just like you are. Your advice on 'that'...i hope i can do it this time. You did knock some sense into me though. true enough i was too stupid to have let whatever happened, happen.

...Looks like i still have to make that choice hmm? It's the only way i can keep going without feeling miserable.

i'll hold you to that.

what a "4th of January".

in fact, what a "year 2012".

to how 2011 ended,

to how 2012 started,

for everything else,

come what may,

i'd like to be happy.